It is really tough to converse with a possible date over an online dating platform. Even the most savvy of men can be off putting when it comes to chatting online. Something about anonymity behind a computer screen gives some men a ticket to act ridiculous and forget their manners.
However, with online dating and meeting potential partners online being the mainstream now, we should learn from those who have been successful. By giving up on online dating, you may just miss out on your one true love.
So what are some better strategies? Here are some tips below.
Be sure of what you want
Unfortunately, men can get desperate. They can get really desperate. They will become so desperate they’ll date and fall in love with the exact opposite of what they truly want – simply because they are too desperate to know what they want. Many pretend to be feminist and then attend rallies and protest marches to speak to women, which is an insult to women in and of itself. Most would try online apps like Tinder. Others may decide they’ll go antiquing on the weekend when they just want to sit at the house and watch the game and could care less about some 100-year-old bureau drawer that could be refinished in vintage chic.
Sit down and have a long talk with yourself. What do YOU want? Be as specific as possible. If you are looking for casual hook ups, try those swipe apps. It’s okay to only want to hook up as long as that is what the other person wants too. However, be aware of the fact that for every one woman on a dating app, there are a dozen men, half of which are creeps.
If you are looking for a serious relationship though, take your time. Figure out what virtues in a person matter to you. What type of hobbies do you want your future lover to be interested in? If you’re into mountain climbing, surely you don’t want someone who hates the outdoors. This stuff matters.
While Tinder is better for hook ups, Match.com and Mega Chatroom are better for potential serious relationships.
Add photos with female friends
For women, it can be scary meeting someone from an online dating service or chatroom. It can also be dangerous. There are plenty of bad experiences ranging simply from bad dates to sexual assault. So, it’s very important you want a woman to feel safe and comfortable meeting you.
Do you have a sister? Post a picture of yourself with your sister. Have some female co-workers and friends? Take some pics and post them online of you and the girls having lunch.
Other than a face shot and a full body picture, share a few photos where women are standing with you and appear happy in your company. Share a pic of you and your mom. It’s totally adorable when a guy loves his mother.
Make sure though it’s genuine. Just don’t go and set up a photo shoot for your female coworkers you barely know and disrespect. It’ll totally be evident that it was forced and will be a total turn off.
Find out what she wants
Women are mysterious beings. There are so many beautiful layers to a woman to get to know. Some women are online hoping to find a hook up. Some are online in hopes of finding true romance. Others are simply on a dating service out of curiosity or because they lost a bet.
So, you need to know what the woman on the receiving end of the emails wants. You may want a hook up; however, she may not. She may want to end the night with a hug at 10 PM.
If you’re simply looking for a hook up, you can put that in your profile in a way that isn’t so obvious. You can say you’re just looking for someone to have a good time with. You could say you’re not ready for a serious relationship but you want someone to hang out with. You could write you’re looking for a travel partner. Make your intentions clear from the get go.
If you receive a match and she reciprocates, then you can push some buttons to see how far she will go. Be subtle though. Ask her if she’s ever hooked up via Tinder before, especially if you’re new at it. If you’re both new at it, you can both share that in common.
Although, you may feel rushed to ask her to come “watch a movie” at your house, keep in mind you want her to be comfortable. Meet her in public first. Make sure she knows you aren’t a serial killer. Then ask her to come over for a late-night movie.
Don’t act desperate
Don’t be desperate. Don’t send her a picture of your penis right away. For god’s sake, don’t ask her for nudes either. If she wants to send you a nude picture, she will. If she doesn’t, she won’t. Unless a woman asks to see your penis, she doesn’t want to see it. I promise. Most of the time, women don’t want to see it, especially not on their phone when they are at work. You also run the risk of being ridiculed because she could send the picture to her friends and laugh.
General rule: If it’s something you wouldn’t show your mother, don’t send it.
Furthermore, don’t ask for a hook up on the first date, even if it’s going well and may lead there. Let her steer you there. If a woman wants it, she will let you know. If you ask for it, you will come off as desperate.
Most importantly, remember, if a woman says “No,” that means NO. By respecting a woman’s decision to say no, you are also portraying yourself as a respectful man. A woman will surely appreciate and remember how respectful you were when and if the time may come.
If you don’t get lucky, move on. Simple.
Featured image via Pixabay.