Jim Bakker: God Delivered A Message To Me About Abortion While I Was In The Bathtub


GOP Jesus gave televangelist Jim Bakker a message while he was in the bathtub. Bakker’s God revealed to him in the intimacy of his bathtub what He has in store for America in 2015. Right Wing Watch reports that the upcoming Godly events include increased tensions with North Korea and violence from Islamist extremists.

We’ve been BFFs with Islamist extremists until now, apparently. Also, North Korea.

Brave Bakker warned viewers that the U.S. military will fail to ever win a war because Americans are “mocking God, taking God out of schools, making it legal to murder the babies, [taking] the Ten Commandments down and literally denying the word of God.”

Is that all?

How about cutting benefits to the poorest, making war noises, stifling minorities and trying to cease healthcare to the neediest? And that’s the shortlist.


Well Jim, (I can call you Jim, right), God came to me while I was taking a bubble bath and instructed me to tell you to shut the fuck up. If you don’t, ISIS will continue its path of terror. North Korea will send veiled threats, and girl scouts will sell cookies. Also, the Sun will rise in the east. Water will be wet. Brussel sprouts will not be a kid’s favorite vegetable.

Why is his God creeping up on him in the bathtub?

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