Trump Family’s November Votes Disqualified Because They’re Too Stupid To Fill Out A Ballot


You know what sucks? Feeling like your vote doesn’t count — and that’s a feeling that is currently shared by everyone in Donald Trump’s family because in the November mayoral race their votes quite literally didn’t count.

No, no one worked to prevent them from voting. No one “pulled an Alabama” and closed down every driver’s license office where white leaders felt a certain group (like African-Americans or the Trump family) were too concentrated. The only thing that suppressed “the Trump vote” was their own stupidity.

The New York Daily News reports that since, as you are probably aware, none of the Trumps could be bothered to stop by New York City to vote in the November 7 mayoral race. So, they did what Republicans try to restrict for the rest of us: they filled out absentee ballots — and not a single fucking one of them did it correctly.

Officials at the NYC Board of Elections say that Trump — the guy with the nuclear codes — managed to f*ck up his own birthdate.

Our President* was born on June 14, 1946 but according to his application, he was born in July:

Melania, being ever-so-smart, successfully filled out her own personal information correctly but forgot to sign the envelope as the very clear instructions tell voters to do.

Ivanka apparently grew fond of the envelope containing her ballot because while she managed to also remember her own birthdate, she didn’t mail it until election day. Jared Kushner, the “forgetful” one, let mailing it in at all completely slip his mind.

“If any of the information is missing it is invalid,” a Board of Elections official told the NY Daily News.

No mention is made of “Beavis and Butthead,” but we can safely assume that they were practicing autofellatio while staring at a freshly-killed corpse of any number of endangered species because there is nothing normal about Don Jr. and Eric. Besides, let’s face it — that’s exactly what you can picture them doing.

There you have it: the most powerful family in the country right now can’t even fill out a simple absentee ballot form and submit it without an issue. One of them, the leader of this clan of imbeciles, can’t even tell you his own birthday.

We’re f*cked. We’re totally f*cked. Jesus Christ, we’re f*cked.

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