When the news of Donald Trump’s extramarital affair with adult film actress Stormy Daniels went to press, it was all anyone could talk about. From the fact that his wife Melania had just given birth to their son Barron, to the $130,000 that Trump’s lawyer illegally funneled out of the campaign fund to cover it up, the details were salacious.
But inside the sordid details were at least a few things we could have a laugh at, rather than recoiling in disgust or clicking deeper and deeper links in morbid curiosity.
First, we found out that Trump once asked the Sultana of Smut to spank him with a copy of Forbes magazine — left to the imagination was whether the issue had Trump’s face on the cover. But perhaps even more hilariously, we learned that Donald Trump really, really hates sharks.
In the 5,000-word article that Daniels did with In Touch magazine from 2011, only recently published after a lengthy non-disclosure agreement, the star described how they were watching TV during the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week,” and Trump exclaimed his hatred for the animals:
“He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, ‘I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.’”
It may have seemed strange to Daniels at the time, and funny initially when we learned about it, but soon people saw it as no laughing matter, and started making donations to shark-related charities — in Donald Trump’s name.
A report on Wednesday from MarketWatch said that at least two charities — the Atlantic White Shark Conservancy and the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society — have been inundated with donations since the news of Trump’s galeophobia surfaced from the depths.
Cynthia Wilgren, the CEO of AWSC, said “[w]e have been receiving donations in Trump’s name since the story was published,” while the head of the SSCS, Paul Watson, saw the silver lining in Trump’s idiotic comments:
“Anything that focuses attention on the plight of sharks worldwide is valuable, so I guess in that way the president did good service.”
In fact, Watson said, “Quite a few more die from lightning strikes and bee stings while playing golf than from sharks.”
So, you know, maybe all this golf isn’t so bad after all.
Note to our readers: Please share/tweet our articles. Trump supporting trolls targeted our site’s account and reported it en masse, without cause. This triggered a seemingly automatic suspension. Twitter support has failed to address this issue. Thank you!
Featured image via Wikimedia Commons/Composite